jennan mieli

perhaps a pause

2012-02-15T18:33:00.001-07:00

I'm not incredibly technical. I can take photos well, edit them, design some of the easier things for this blog, but other than that, I have never considered it necessary to know anything else about blogging. Honestly, I'm completely green when it comes to RSS feeds, copyright infringement, advanced design on a blog, html, etc.

However, never once have I felt the need to address that with this blog. This blog has seen quite a bit of traffic, but has never been big, and I've liked it that way. Everyone who comes to this blog comes here because I know you personally, because I visit your blog and like your work, or because you saw my link somewhere on another blog I happen to like. None of that is concerning to me. I've kept this blog like this for a reason. I've so liked the community around it and the friends I've made through it.

I've never really seen a bad side to blogging, but when I was fooling around on Google a while ago, I found at least one site using my content without my permission, which seems to be a form of RSS scraping which I've just recently discovered actually exists. Like I said, I've never bothered with copyright on here as I thought it wouldn't become an issue. But now when I see someone pretending to RSS feed my blog while it also seems they are making money off of advertisements because someone has come to look at my pictures, it makes me angry. I'm also sad when I think about how naïve it was of me to think that such things wouldn't happen to my little blog. I've seen other questionable referring sites on this blog's stats, and to me, it's worrisome. Tears streaming down my face worrisome. Me ready to pull out my hair worrisome. Me, puffing out my cheeks until they're red worrisome.

Due to all of this, I think maybe an indefinite pause is needed here until I can get my head around things and decide what to do. I've taken a few breaks on here before, but I don't know if this will be like those. I don't know if I can come back. Maybe I will look further into copyright for my pictures, maybe I won't blog anymore, or maybe I'll suck it up, pay for a better blogging software, and start a new blog. I have to think.

Thanks to all of you who have come here throughout the past few years. I've loved sharing my creativity with you and seeing yours as well. How wonderful and thoughtful your comments, e-mails, packages, and letters have been. You know who you are! Thank you times ten.

on sunday

2012-02-05T09:34:00.001-07:00

A quiet day with nice light. Some coffee and a pastry. Hair up. Lovely Sunday.

Hiljainen päivä ja hyvää valoa. Vähän kahvia ja Runebergintorttua. Hiukset kiinni. Ihana sunnuntai.

suddenly

2012-02-02T14:19:00.001-07:00

Suddenly, it got very cold here. It's about -17 degrees and should stay that way for the weekend at least. I'd like to take my camera out for more walks and visit cafes, but lately I'm finding myself at home with a cup of tea, spilled over my copy of Kinfolk.

Lately, I'm listening to First Aid Kit's new album, to this one of Markéta Irglová's, and to this.

Stay warm this weekend, all.

helsinki randoms

2012-01-28T15:54:00.002-07:00

I shot a lot of Helsinki in 2011. These are from August, October, and December. In August, I saw that even Alexander II puts a bird on it.

I'm totally into Beirut these days, this one is a favorite.

so big to me

2012-01-25T14:32:00.001-07:00

Some January randoms as I say goodbye to January.

Looking back, it was a good month with a lovely visit from two lovely friends, two wonderful trips to Tallinn and Jyväskylä, lots of walks throughout Helsinki and visits to cafes in between.

Now, after coming back to Helsinki, I am back in my element and feeling better than I have in a long time about being here. In some way, this place is home and will be with me wherever I end up in my life. I've been pondering that lately; how the places we go and people we see daily, no matter how little or much we think of them, impact us and have an effect we sometimes don't expect or even see until months or perhaps years later. Such a little realization, but yet so big to me.

that place

2012-01-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

And that hair. If it were my choice, I would be walking along a winter shore in Jyväskylä with some of the people I love most. And I would also have that hair again. I miss you, M and K!

To be honest, not too much is inspiring me lately, and certainly not things that you probably don't already know about, like Kinfolk for example. I'm listening to Säkert! a lot lately.

ihana värikäs kaupunki

2012-01-17T13:20:00.001-07:00

Tallinn, Estonia is one of the loveliest, most colorful cities I have seen. We visited it last Friday, and even though there was snow and silence all around, the gorgeous colors and lines of Tallinn's Old Town could not be masked. Hopefully I will go there again in the spring.

I'm fighting the winter blues currently. It's been snowing here in Helsinki for a long time today. Spring seems so far away. How do you combat your winter blues? Tea? Candles?

Fourth photo of my hair by K, who also braided it. My American visitors left today, and I'm very sad about that as well.

the start

2012-01-12T07:04:00.003-07:00

I'm back in Finland and with me now are two wonderful American visitors. We were in Jyväskylä together last weekend, where these pictures are from. The start of this new year has been good. I'm sick right now, so the visitors are off sightseeing by themselves today.

This song makes me happy each time I listen to it.

a year in review

2011-12-31T20:34:00.001-07:00

2011 was a good year and it changed me a lot. I moved to Helsinki, I started thinking about life differently, about how I am free to do as I please, but that life is short and that I should experience as much as I can. I can't wait for 2012 and what it has in store for me.

Here are nine diptychs of my year. So many thanks to each and every one of you who visits here, thanks for your comments and encouragement, it means always so much. Happy new year everyone!

Niin paljon kiitoksia teille kaikille siitä, että tulette aina takaisin tänne. Kiitos ihanista sanoista ja kommenteista; kiitos omista kuvista. Hyvää uutta vuotta teille jokaiselle!

the christmas post

2011-12-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

Terveisiä Amerikasta! Päätin että oli pakko tulla kotiin jouluksi, eli täällä olen. Tuntuu niin hyvältä olla kotona ja jotenkin tuntuu siltä, etten ollutkaan poissa. Olen näissä päivissä syönyt paljon ruisleipää ja juonut glögiä ja teetä hunajalla. Odotan joulua innolla. Toivon teille kaikille tosi ihanaa joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta.

Greetings from America! I decided I had to come home for Christmas, so here I am. It feels so good to be home and somehow feels like I never left. I have eaten a lot of rye bread as well as drank a lot of glögi and tea with honey these days. I am eagerly awaiting Christmas. I wish all of you a Merry Christmas if you celebrate, and if not, a happy holiday season as well as a happy new year.

Christmases past: 2010, 2009.

hope that

2011-12-16T03:50:00.000-07:00

Toivon että täällä on vielä lukijoita jäljellä. Nyt kun mietin asiaa, oli mielestäni liian pitkä aika olla pois blogista. Olen kuitenkin takaisin, ja lupaan että laitan tänne paljon kuvia. Meillä oli täällä Helsingissä pari kivaa, aurinkoista päivää marraskuussa. (Vaikka ne olivat kyllä lyhyitä.) Ajattelen yllätyksiä, joista kirjoitan enemmän tulevaisuudessa. Olisipa täällä lunta.

I hope that there are still some readers left here. Now that I think of it, it was probably too long to be away from my blog. I am back anyway, and I promise I will be showing many pictures here. In Helsinki, we had a few nice and sunny days in November, even though they were short.

lucia, bringer of light

2011-12-14T12:45:00.001-07:00

Anteeksi tämä poissaolo. On ollut hienoja viikkoja täällä Helsingissä, mutta kun päivät ovat olleet niin pimeitä, ei ole ollut aikaa ottaa kuvia, eikä inspiraatiota.

Olen pitkästä aikaa haaveillut että joskus, jossain vaiheessa elämässäni, osallistuisin Lucia päivä juhliin, ja niin osallistuin eilen. Kruunuksen jälkeen, seisottiin ulkona ja odotettiin Luciaa. Lucia tuli ja laskeutui Tuomiokirkon portaita. Toi valoa ja toivoa. Oli niin paljon ihimisiä, vaikka oli kaikkialla jotenkin rauhallista.

I'm sorry that I haven't been here. There have been some nice weeks here in Helsinki, but because the days have been so dark, there hasn't been time to take pictures, and not so much inspiration, either.

For a long time, I've dreamt that one day, at one stage in my life, I would take part in a Saint Lucia's Day celebration, and yesterday I did just that. After the crowning, we stood outside and waited for Lucia. She came and stepped down the stairs of the Lutheran Cathedral. She brought light and hope. There were so many people around, yet everything was still peaceful.

sky is pouring in

2011-11-09T05:43:00.001-07:00

Kaksi kuvaa lokakuulta ja yksi tästä päivästä, minun pieni aamupala. Tämän löysin pari päivää sitten taskusta, näissä pienissä sanoissa kaikki minun ajatukset marraskuusta:

Marraskuu
näin lehden, viimeisen.
Nyt jää vaan puut,
niiden oksat.

Kaipaan niitä värikkäitä lehtiä. Täällä on kuitenkin aurinkoista tänään, olen siitä niin kiitollinen. Menen tänä iltana ystäväni kanssa kahvilaan, meillä on suunnitelmia syödä jälkiruokaa ja juoda hyvää viiniä. Olin Alexi Murdochin keikalla eilen, ja voi, mikä soittaja hän on! Tässä pari hyvää esimerkkiä: yksi, kaksi.

Two pictures from October and one from today, my small breakfast. I found this in my pocket a few days ago, in these small words all of my thoughts about November:

November
I saw a leaf, the last.
Now all that is left
is the trees,
their branches.

I do miss those colorful leaves. It's sunny today however, and I'm thankful for that. I'm going with my friend tonight to a cafe, we have plans to eat dessert and drink good wine. I was at Alexi Murdoch's concert last night, and oh, it was amazing! Some of my favorites: one, two.

November song.

hello, november

2011-11-04T14:33:00.000-06:00

Lokakuu oli tosi ihana kuukausi, siitä tuli hyviä, uusia muistoja. Ja nyt tulee marraskuu. Pimeä ja kylmä marraskuu. Mutta olen valmiina. Aion käydä saunassa ja joogatunneilla melkein joka päivä, aion juoda monia kuppeja teetä ja nauttia hyvien ystävien seurasta.

October was a wonderful month. And now comes November. Dark and cold November. But I'm prepared. I intend on going to sauna and yoga classes almost every day, I intend on drinking many cups of tea and enjoying the company of good friends.

mitä nyt, mitä nyt

2011-10-18T18:02:00.000-06:00

Minulla on teetä jäljellä kupissa, on haaleaa. Istun tässä ja kuuntelen sadetta. En saa unta. Mieleni liikkuu, mietin asioita ja ajattelen tulevaisuutta. Annan mielen mennä ihan minne vaan. Minulla on kylmä, ja tiedän, että marraskuu on pian tulossa.

There is still tea left in my cup, although it's gone cold. I sit here and I listen to the rain. I can't sleep. My mind stirs, I wonder about things, I think about the future. I let my mind go wherever. I am cold, and I know that November is certainly on its way.

This, this, this.

kesän viimeiset ja ajatuksia melkein kaikesta

2011-10-14T17:12:00.002-06:00

Voi, en kirjoita tänne näin paljon kuin pitäisi. Nyt on paljon kerrottavaa. Kävin tänä iltana Kansallisoopperassa kun siellä esiintyi uusi Tuhkimo baletti. Kun olin sitä katsomassa, huomasin että olin unohtanut miten kaunista baletti oikeasti on. Kun tanssii, ihmisen sielu nousee pinnalle.

Talvi on todellakin tulossa tänne Helsinkiin. Tuulet ovat hyvin kovia ja vaikka aurinko paistaa, tietää että kylmyys lopuksi voittaa. Ja ajattelen vielä kesää. Käyn vanhojen kuvien läpi ja unelmoin päivistä jolloin menin mökillä käymään ja järveen uimaan.

Kirjoitan tänne nyt vain suomeksi. Yksi syy on se, että olen huomannut että täällä käy eniten suomalaisia ja toinen syy on se, ettei mun ole enää hyvä kirjoittaa eikä puhua englantia täällä Suomessa, siis yritän ainakin kirjoittaa suomea kun on tilaisuus. Olen siis päättänyt että jos teen virheitä, ei sillä ole minulle enää mitään väliä. Olen aikamoinen perfektionisti, mutta täytyy jossain vaiheessa myöntää itselle ettei täydellisesti voi aina kirjoittaa eikä puhua.

Liivia antoi minulle viisi sanaa:

Heräsin eräänä kesäpäivänä liian aikaisin ja muistan nyt siitä aamusta vain miten valo tulvi ikkunasta, miten keltaista oli.

Kuvittelen aina unelmapäiviä jolloin olisin jossain Pariisissa, syömässä macaroneja ja juomassa espressoa.

Parhaalla ystävälläni on kissa jonka nimi on Tango.

Budapest houkuttelee minua, sen haluaisin tuntea.

Liikutun aina kun luen Sylvia Plathin, Anni Sinnemäen, Pablo Nerudan, ja Helena Anhavan runoja.

Annan mielelläni sanoja edelleen, jos joku haluaisi.

****

I'm going to write here only in Finnish now! I've noticed that mostly Finns are visiting this blog and also that my Finnish needs to improve, so Finnish it is. I'll put a small something in English sometimes, but I've decided that now the bulk of posts will be in Finnish for the time being.

aakkoset

2011-10-01T16:43:00.000-06:00

I've seen in Gloria Magazine a feature called "Aakkoset" or "The Alphabet," where well-known figures in Finnish society are asked to make their own alphabets of all of the things in their lives they love, things they dream about, think about, like, want to do, etc. I thought I'd make my own:

a: Art. It sometimes can be found in the most unexpected, curious places.

b: Blogging. Well, enough said.

c: Cardamom. Smells and tastes so wonderful in baked goods.

d: Dalahäst. I want a small one for my apartment.

e: Édith Piaf. She's such a fascinating person. La Vie En Rose is one of my favorite films.

f: Finland. The obvious choice. The place I live in and love.

g: Garden. I miss mine. Nice to visit other ones.

h: Home. For me, it's not just one place. I'm missing one of them.

i: Iittala. These are my favorite.

j: Jam. On rye bread with butter.

k: Kahvila is Finnish for "café." I could and often do spend hours in one.

l: "Live your life." Some of Maurice Sendak's last words from this interview. Very brilliant.

m: Macaroons. One of the prettiest desserts around.

n: "Naked As We Came" is one song that makes me think of my dad. He has good music taste. I love him.

o: Organic, local, seasonal. I try to. Barbara Kingsolver made me a full convert.

p: Prose. My current pick.

q: Quiet. Something I've come to value.

r: Religion. I'm pondering it a lot these days.

s: Simon & Garfunkel. Especially this song. My dad used to play their records to me.

t: Trains and trams. I love to travel on them, especially when it's raining. It's then that things seem so picturesque as I stare out the window.

u: Uimahalli is Finnish for "swimming hall." The perfect Friday evening is to go to sauna and swimming. I like Mäkelänrinne a lot.

v: Violin. I used to be so passionate about it. I wish I still had that passion.

w: Walks and water. Both important for staying physically and mentally charged.

x: Xylitol, of course. I like to take care of my teeth and I love that xylitol comes from birch trees.

y: Yoghurt. I'm obsessed with the stuff. I have it always for breakfast and at least once more after that.

z: Zazzy.

å: Å. Just Å. My favorite letter which is also a word in Swedish meaning "river."

ä: Älskling. Speaking of Swedish, this means "dear."

Photos are outtakes from May and June. I haven't been taking a lot and should start doing so again. That, and more Finnish studying. I always leave my homework right until the last second. I have a test on Monday, too.

best weekend

2011-09-27T15:18:00.000-06:00

These past weeks have been busy and don't seem to slow down too much. I turned nineteen last Saturday in Jyväskylä. I went there on Friday evening and came back late Sunday night. It's about a three hour train ride from Helsinki to Jyväskylä, but the six hours I spent this weekend in the train were worth it. I just love Jyväskylä. It's my second hometown and some of the greatest people I know are there. It was a perfect birthday.

I have two very wonderful American visitors coming here to Finland in January for two weeks and we're thinking about taking a trip to Stockholm or perhaps to even Copenhagen or Oslo. I've now noticed that I know virtually nothing about any of these cities. Do any of you Scandinavian bloggers have any tips about which city to visit when comparing Sweden, Denmark and Norway? How about where to stay, shop, and eat? I would very much appreciate it!

to let go

2011-09-15T14:45:00.001-06:00

I'm a routine kinda gal. I don’t know what it is about them, butwhenever the simple idea of having a routine, or even better, getting into a routine comes up, Ibecome quite giddy. I suppose ithas something to do with the order aspect. I’m big into organization. As a child in grade school, I tended to favor the teacherswho, for example, color coded our folders and alphabetized the words in ourspelling tests. I can’t go tosleep until things are stowed in their rightful place. I’ve been told by some that I’mbordering the OCD line. I’velearnt to make peace with it. Ifyou’re like me though, you know too just how well routines can make organizingdays so easy. It’s the planning and the execution. It's the hair raising feeling when you’ve just accomplished somethingand will move onto the next scheduled activity. Not only will these be today's activities, buttomorrow's too, because it’s your routine. Somehow I find beauty in this, thepredictable and safe.

Now that I have settled into my life inHelsinki for more than two months now, I have a routinegoing. Mornings are reserved forreading and long breakfasts, early afternoons for work, and late afternoons andevenings for class and homework. It’s nice, I admit, but there’s still part of me that feels likesomething is missing. This part,however prevalent it is in me right now, is telling me to let go, to explore,to gain new experiences, and to even let the routine slip sometimes. I don't know why or where it's come from, but now that I've become more and more familiar and even comfortable with my surroundings, I seem to have come down with what I like to call "The World Is Your Oyster" Syndrome.

Yes, as corny as it may sound, I can't help but wake up every morning only to think this city is mine.

helsingin kasvitieteellinen puutarha

2011-09-04T11:34:00.001-06:00

The Botanical Garden of Helsinki in Kaisaniemi is such a lovely place. Autumn is surely coming if not already here, but in the garden, it was so easy to see that summer is still trying to hold on, if just for a moment. The garden is situated exactly in the center of the city, where people move quickly, brushing your shoulders, hurrying to the next destination. But in the garden, no such things are tolerated. There seems to be an unspoken rule that one must stop and watch at least one bee pollinate a flower, preferably whilst sipping hot tea. The sun's rays beat against my back, cool air entered my lungs, and I took time to breathe. I find it's nice to do that every once in a while.

the beginning

2011-09-01T13:36:00.000-06:00

I don't always remember everything from school, but I do remember reading A Farewell to Arms during my junior year. I didn't love the novel, but now when I think about it, all that comes to mind is the rain Hemingway seemed to love so much. Rain, the symbol of death, or so according to our teacher it was.

I think that Hemingway would have loved this time in Helsinki. It's raining here almost constantly these days. During the nights, raindrops beat against my window, waking me repeatedly as if to say, I'm here and I shan't leave. The morning comes, the streets dry, the rain has left only to come back again later in the afternoon.

Even so, I think my English teacher and maybe even Hemingway had it wrong. To me, the rain is clean and washes away everything. I feel lately like I'm beginning to know myself, becoming stronger in who I am. I am growing up in small ways, facing situations that I never thought I would, and here's the shocking part: I love it. I'm only beginning.

Bring on the rain.

soft

2011-08-18T13:36:00.007-06:00

Today, the sunshine came out and it still felt like summer, even though I also bought some new rubber boots in preparation for the coming autumn.

In the last picture, a puzzle that I'm constantly trying to solve in almost all of my free time. I got it right before I came here and tried also to solve it with my friend (Hi, K!) and have yet to get it right. It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube, but in my opinion much better looking.

Lately:

+ walking around Helsinki, looking for nice cafés with no particular destination

+ seeing Iron & Wine for the second time at Flow last Saturday (Pictures of all the acts here)

+ baking Molly's cake, again (I love birthdays. Best excuse to bake.)

+ reading this, which I got on sale from Akateeminen Kirjakauppa

+ listening to this, thinking of my dear brother whom I miss very much

mostly helsinki lately

2011-08-11T09:57:00.006-06:00

I have been getting used to Helsinki. I'm always afraid I will get lost, but now I know the city center pretty well. I find that it's good to go outside of your comfort zone, to challenge yourself every once in a while. Moving here has been like that for me. I have had days where I have missed home, I've had some tears even, but I know I have to move on.

Totun Helsinkiin. Aina pelkään että minä eksyn jonnekin, mutta nyt tunnen kaupungin keskustan ihan hyvin. Ei ole aina helppoa asua täällä, joskus minulla on koti ikävä ja olen joskus itkenyt koska kaipaan ystäviä ja perhettä USAssa. Ehkä vaikein asia nyt minulle on suomen kieli. Rakastan sitä vielä, mutta tiedän että joskus kirjoitan virheitä ja niitä teen puhuessanikin, siis minulla on yksi pieni pyyntö: jos näette virheitä, voisitteko korjata niitä ja selittää miksi kirjoitetaan näin? Olisin todella kiitollinen!

the overall headache

2011-08-01T15:14:00.003-06:00

Olin Jyväskylässä ja siellä puhuin suomea enemmän kuin mitään muuta kieltä. Tulin takaisin Helsinkiin, ja päätin soittaa amerikkalaisille kavereille ja huomaan nyt ehkä ettei ollut näin hyvä päätös, kun silloin en osannut mitään englantia ja tein liian paljon virheitä. Helsinki tulevani jälkeen, puhuin yhdessä päivässä espanjaa, englantia, ja suomea. Nyt tuntuu hieman siltä, että äidinkieli on täysin kadonnut. Oletteko koskaan olleet ulkomailla? Onko tämä kieli hämminki tuttu?

I was in Jyväskylä and there I spoke more Finnish than anything else. I came back to Helsinki and I decided to call my American friends and now I understand that perhaps it wasn't a wise decision as then I couldn't speak English fully and I made mistakes. After my coming to Helsinki, I spoke in one day English, Spanish, and Finnish. Now it feels a bit as if I have no mother tongue. Have you ever been abroad? Is this language confusion familiar?

how it should be

2011-07-31T10:24:00.004-06:00

Summer, that is.

Fields. Bare feet. Summer cottages. Sauna. Rowing. Stained fingers. Blueberries. Stunning light. Finland. Sigh.

:::::

2011-07-28T15:45:00.005-06:00

as the wind moved east

we moved west

shore gone, lake here

salty bodies colliding

with rusted water.

sweat dripped from my forehead,

and as i lay on the dock,

i lost track of time,

my eyes widening

like small blueberries.

you swallowed summer's heat,

i untied the rowboat,

and we both let go.

I'm back in Helsinki and will be sharing photos throughout the next few days from my trip up north to Jyväskylä. This poem is from my journal.

it's just the best

2011-07-21T12:06:00.004-06:00

I've been in Jyväskylä for a few days now and in Finland for about six days. Everything has been perfect. I missed so much about Finland, even the little things that I forgot about are good to see and feel. Things about Finland that I love:

+ going to sauna
+ running to the lake right after sauna
+ the feeling of pores opening up right after sauna, just as the cool air hits
+ karjalanpiirakka
+ the summer cottage
+ birch trees
+ blueberries
+ the wonderful people
+ walking and bicycling anywhere
+ wonderful shopping and ice cream
+ cured salmon
+ rye bread

I have taken many, many pictures so far and will be in Helsinki soon to upload them. See you then.

moi moi, usa!

2011-07-14T00:04:00.003-06:00

Saying goodbye to the U.S. today! I'm off to Helsinki, then on Sunday I'll be in Jyväskylä. I can't wait! See you later America and hello Finland!

Sanon tänään näkemiin Yhdysvalloille! Menen Helsinkiin ja sitten sunnuntaina olen lähdössä Jyväskylään. En malta odottaa! Hei hei Jenkki ja moi Suomi!

randoms from the weekend

2011-07-04T21:57:00.008-06:00

It was a good weekend and a good start to July. It was hiking, picnicking, and sightseeing. It was taking a breath after being a bit stressed with packing and leaving. Hoping next weekend will be just as lovely, too.

In my preparations for many long plane rides, I also noticed that I'll need some new music to listen to during layovers and three flights. Does anyone have any recommendations?

kohta on heinäkuu

2011-06-29T23:44:00.004-06:00

Kohta on jo heinäkuu, en voi uskoa. Olen ollut hyvin laiska näissä päivissä, mutta mielestäni näin kesän pitäisi käydä. Vielä on tehtävä ennen Suomi matkaa. Minun täytyy ostaa uusi tietokone, uudet silmälasit, ja totta kai, on sitten se pakkaaminen, jota en halua tehdä.

Olen varmasti lauantaina (13.8) menossa Flow Festivaliin! Kuka menee?

Soon it's already July, I can't believe it. I have been pretty lazy lately, but I think that's how summer's supposed to go. There are still things to be done before Finland. I have to buy a new computer, new glasses, and of course, then there is the packing that I don't want to do.

I am going to Flow Festival on Saturday (13.8)! Who's going?

kesän taika

2011-06-28T00:18:00.003-06:00

Early summer evenings are magic. Dinner parties with friends aren't so bad, either.

We ate this (on the floor!) and listened to this. I am so lucky.

hyvää juhannusta!

2011-06-24T19:13:00.002-06:00

As you can see, I've given this place a little bit of a makeover, I think it needed it. I've cleaned up a little too, deleted a few posts and pictures that I wasn't so satisfied with.

I've updated the about section, where you can also find a link to my new portfolio that I am building.

I wish you a happy midsummer! I am celebrating with my family, and of course with rhubarb and Marimekko napkins. I can't think of anything better.

a confession of many sorts

2011-06-24T00:25:00.004-06:00

I am pleased to report that the wisdom teeth removal went well. I was completely terrified the on the way to the oral surgeon's, and in the waiting room, I was, let's say, less than composed. If you want to see what you're like when you're sure all hell is about to break loose, schedule a wisdom teeth extraction. Trust me.

I suppose I overreacted just a little bit. I got the anaesthesia, and the rest was history. I have made a full recovery and have not looked back, not even on my mother attempting to feed me a few mere hours after the surgery by vacuuming smoothie through a straw and forcing it down my throat while I groaned, choked a little, and then begged for more. Those weren't my finest hours.

What I didn't anticipate about recovering was all of the time. I mostly slept for the first few days. After, while I didn't feel nearly good enough to leave the house, I thought, and I thought a lot. I watched movies, re-read Molly's book, dreamt of rhubarb, listened to this and concluded I'd reached musical nirvana, and then I thought some more.

(After dreaming of rhubarb and recovering, I did in fact get rhubarb, and a lot of it. I've made this, this, and this in the past two days and I can recommend all, but I must admit that this one is my favourite, and if you put it on top of good vanilla ice cream, I can guarantee you'll be very happy for at least the next few days.)

There's been a lot on my mind lately, and I didn't realise it completely until I was lying in bed with absolutely nothing to do. Helsinki is on my mind. I am totally thrilled, don't get me wrong. But, in the back of my mind, there is also a lot of fear. I am scared of changing everything I know and changing it for at least a year.

I am scared I won't make any new friends, I'm scared of being alone. I am scared that I'll cry too much because I'll miss everyone here. I'm scared that when I return here, everything will have changed. I'm scared I'll forget how to breathe, how to relax.

These are feelings of starting anew and taking a big plunge into something that's not one hundred percent. And I can only hope it's normal. And while it may be or may not be, I have to believe everything is going to be okay.

something

2011-06-16T21:31:00.004-06:00

Pieni postaus ennen perjantaita. Huomenna aamulla, kaikki minun viisaudenhampaat kiskotaan pois. En tiedä miksi, mutta vähän minua pelottaa! Halusin kirjoittaa tänne ennen kaikkea ja kertoa etten ole täällä ensi viikolla, siis toivon teille kaikille kaikkea hyvää ja kivaa uutta viikkoa.

A small post before Friday. Tomorrow morning, I'm getting all of my wisdom teeth removed. I don't know why, but I'm a little afraid! I wanted to write here before everything and tell that I won't be around next week, so I wish you all everything good and a nice new week.

Wish me luck!

again, again

2011-06-13T00:46:00.003-06:00

Kiva viikonloppu oli. Mentiin Great Fallsiin, joka sijaitsee lännessä Montanassa. Oli tosi mukava kaupunki jonka kanssa tuli paljon kauniita nähtävyyksiä.

Olen taas unohtanut monta kertaa kirjoittaa myös suomea tänne. Mutta nyt minun täytyy muistaa ja toistaa itselleni, "Hei Jenna, älä ole laiska!" Minun täytyy taas kerran tottua puhumaan suomea; enää kuukausi jäljellä täällä Jenkeissä.

It was a nice weekend. We went to Great Falls, which is located in western Montana. It was a lovely city with a lot of beautiful views.

I have again forgotten to write in Finnish here too. But now I have to remember and repeat to myself, "Jenna, don't be so lazy!" I have to get used to speaking Finnish again; only a month left here in the United States.

more celebrating + hunt / gather giveaway

2011-06-09T23:53:00.002-06:00

There is a giveaway going on at hunt / gather right now. When I was asked to do one, I figured, why not? It surely couldn't hurt.

Also, is it so wrong to completely love Robyn? I do! I love this one, particularly. But also this one.

and now we celebrate

2011-06-06T21:16:00.003-06:00

There has been a lot of celebration around these parts lately. I have eaten very well in the last three days and laughed more than I could begin to imagine. These days have been good.

Tomorrow: rhubarb picking, work doing, photo walking, Head and the Heart listening, etc.

lilac + mint

2011-05-28T21:49:00.003-06:00

Went to get some lilac from the backyard today and was surprised to find that my mint had also grown back! Back along with the mint are thyme and parsley too, that means I only have to plant basil this year for herbs!

I cut the lilac and mint and then took them inside to put them in a small vase. Success. After that, I got a pastry at Bernice's Bakery and got very confused about not only one but two boys. Ah, life.

There's an interview with Astrid on hunt / gather, it's very lovely!

vihreä

2011-05-24T10:20:00.001-06:00

So green and so easy! I made this in about two minutes: a big handful of spinach, one banana coarsely chopped, and some fruit juice. Whole Living has great smoothie ideas, here.

The green feels fresh, so does evening rain and mint. I love that feeling.

let's go camping

2011-05-22T21:43:00.006-06:00

It was a successful camping trip. This was the last "big thing" that my friends and I will do before we all leave to school in different parts of the world. Again, there were bittersweet moments.

This week is a four day week for me, then I have a four day weekend. I can't believe school is almost over.

sky study

2011-05-16T00:00:00.003-06:00

Sky

I have watched you

shift

wrap yourself

around sun and cloud

until light leaves

and moon stays

excitement's in the air

2011-05-10T20:25:00.002-06:00

I can hardly believe it, I booked a ticket to Helsinki! I'm leaving on July 14. It seems so surreal to me, like it's going to happen, but not for a while.

I'm also a little sad; it's going to be hard to leave everyone here. I know Helsinki will be great, but still, it's going to hurt a little too. I've already cried, and it's only May!

jos vielä hetken laulan, mitä teet?

2011-05-04T21:22:00.005-06:00

Kevät on oikeasti täällä, ja joskus en vielä usko. Meillä on ollut niin valoisia ja kivoja päiviä, joissa ilma on kevyempää, joissa ikkunani on aina auki. Ja näin käy, ja käy, ja käy.

Scandinavian Music Groupin uusi levy on muuten hyvin upea! En hurjasti tykännyt silloin kun ensimmäistä kertaa kuuntelin, mutta mitä enemmän kuuntelin, sitä enemmän aloitin siitä pitämään. Ja nyt soi, ja soi, ja soi.

Spring is really here, and sometimes I still don't believe it. We've had really bright and nice days, where the air is lighter, where my window is always open. And so it goes, and goes, and goes.

Scandinavian Music Group's new album is very good! I didn't love it at first listen, but the more I listened, the more I began to like it. And now it plays, and plays, and plays.

it was

2011-05-01T16:26:00.004-06:00

A very nice evening. Happy Mayday!

tänään, tiistai

2011-04-26T21:35:00.004-06:00

Today was good. It really was. I found a prom dress and a graduation dress. I'm so happy about that. I went to a really nice low-key poetry reading at Shakespeare and Company. I've been watching the pinto bean plant grow and grow. I had some chocolate.

I'm really liking Jos et sä soita by Regina and this preview of Anna Järvinen's new album, "Anna Själv Tredje." I just ordered Scandinavian Music Group's new album, "Manner." I hope it arrives here soon!

out of curiosity

2011-04-24T02:56:00.004-06:00

I had such a nice Easter! I had wonderful food, lots of chocolate, and went for my first bike ride of the year. It was awesome, even though my legs feel like jello. I'll have to work on that.

Since you already know all about Helsinki, I figured I'd tell you something else. I'm thinking of leaving this place behind and starting a new blog. It seems kind of fitting. A new chapter in my life, a new blog.

But I do love this place. A new blog could be wonderful, but then again, it could be not so wonderful. I can't decide.

I think one of the best things about blogging is hearing from readers. I love having communication with each and every one of you. Words can't describe how nice it is to know you, even if it is just in this little way, in a fraction of a fraction of the internet.

So, I need your help to decide. You don't even have to comment, you can simply click here and tell me your thoughts. Out of curiosity, I've made more questions to complete the survey, but I'm happy and very grateful for as little or as much as you would like to tell me.

ain't no thang

2011-04-16T22:30:00.001-06:00

I'd like some sun. Let me repeat: I'd like some sun. Here, if it's not only overcast and windy, it's overcast, windy, and rainy. I find myself more than often missing Seattle in late September; the time of year when it was warm but not too warm, and when the sun set around seven, flecks of orange and yellow would filter through my window.

Of course, when one yearns for sunlight so badly, the stress level is pretty high. I'm not sugarcoating anything, these weeks have been hard. I'm about to finish high school. I keep thinking that to myself: matriculation, matriculation, matriculation, but still, I can't see it. There is much to be done before it happens. I have to publish a book of translations and a literary magazine, take AP tests, send out graduation announcements. I have to go to prom. (Just thinking about it makes me shiver in fear.) And then, I have a lot of packing to do and goodbyes to say.

When all of these things I currently carry seem larger than life, there's a great mantra I like to repeat to myself. It goes like this: ain't no thang. When I say it to myself, I like to pretend I'm in a beauty shop in the deep South. Sometimes, I say, ain't no thang, sistah for dramatic effect.

Speaking of getting the heck outta the United States, I also have to tell you something. I said I was going to Finland on here back in December, and that's still happening. However, I said I'd be in Tampere, and that's since changed. The thing is, I'm going to live in Helsinki. I'm going to live in the centre of Helsinki. I'm going to study Finnish through the University of Helsinki. This is one hundred percent sure; the residence permit has been applied for, I have an apartment, and I'm shaking in my trousers in both excitement and fear.

I'm moving to Helsinki this summer. Ain't no thang.

tässä vaiheessa

2011-04-09T22:45:00.005-06:00

At this point, I have complete writer's block. Maybe the pictures say more, I hope so at least.

it's all kinds of good

2011-03-31T21:03:00.003-06:00

This week is almost over, finally. I'm happy to see it go, it's been a long one. I was sick for a few days and after I returned to school, I had so much to do. Fortunately, it's my spring break next week, which gives me my first reason to celebrate.

Even so, I managed to get a lot accomplished this week. Reason to celebrate number two.

And Friday evening, my friend and I will go for dinner and to the movies. Celebration reason number three.

I like celebrating. And I like laughing. Listening to myself talk about mämmi on Spilled Milk today made me giggle. And then some. It was fun to be on the show!

Puhun mämmistä Spilled Milk podcastissa joka ilmestyi tänään. Kuuntele täältä. Olipa hauskaa!

the catch-up

2011-03-28T15:42:00.009-06:00

Hello, all. This is eat, weeks eight through twelve. I am supposed to owe you two diptychs per week, but this is all I can muster up in this hustle and bustle. I hope you'll forgive me. Next week, it'll be back to two diptychs per week, I swear.

I can't believe how behind I let myself get sometimes. And I always forget how bad it feels to be behind. But then how good it feels to catch up. I'm playing catch-up on several things today, this being one of them. eat down, cleaning and schoolwork to go.

What I have eaten these past weeks:

Week eight: waffles + skyr
Week nine: apples, sharp cheddar, pumpkin butter
Week ten: blackberries + smoothie with soy milk, raspberries, blueberries
Week eleven: pesto on a baguette + sage in anything possible (I'm having a sage-y spring)
Week twelve: swiss chard and soft-boiled eggs + ham, brie, and apple panini

"tämä on elämä, nyt suoritat sen"

2011-03-23T23:47:00.006-06:00

Jotain painavaa laskeutui päälle,

lyijypeite:

Tämä on elämä,

nyt suoritat sen

annetuissa olosuhteissa.

Vaihtoehtoja ei ole.

Säkeistö Helena Anhavan runolta, "Keitä me kerran olimme"

On joskus mielestäni hyvin uskomatonta, miten yksi runo voi selittää elämääni ja sitä miltä tunnun näin täydellisesti. Kahdeksantoista vuotiaana, olen vielä tyttönen. Olin eilen lukemassa blogeja, ja luin pari kertaa tarinoita joissa kirjailijat kertoivat millaisia heidän elämät olivat kauan sitten kahdeksantoista vuotiaana, ja sai minut ajattelemaan millainen minä itse olen nyt. En henkilökohtaisesti nyt luule olevani aikuinen, enkä nainen. Ei vielä, ainakin.

Minä menen Suomeen elokuussa opiskelemaan ja en tiedä, jaksanko irrottaa tästä jenkki elämästä mitä minulla on nyt, jossa minusta pidetään huolta koko ajan. Jotain painavaa laskeutui päälle silloin kun tätä ensimmäistä kertaa ajattelin. Jotain painavaa.

little rays of light

2011-03-20T19:01:00.008-06:00

First off, Japan has been in my thoughts during these past weeks. I'm sending these rays of light to you, Japan.

Hello all! Oh man, I am not a good blog updater, not good at all. So much has happened in the past few weeks, it's hard to say where to begin. To start, I have been accepted to the University of Washington, how exciting! I knew it's a difficult school to get into, so I wasn't sure about it at all. There were definitely doubts. I was so relieved when my letter came in the mail. Phew. I threw a dance party, even.

There are a few other things, but I'll share those with you over time. Things are changing, and in a great way.

In the meantime, some nice things: direct orders, this one, shake the dust.

I'll post my overdue eat images soon, the one above is an outtake.

hiljaisia päiviä

2011-02-21T16:55:00.004-07:00

Äiti ja veljet lähti pois muutama päivä sitten ja kotona on ollut vain minä ja isä. Isä ei puhu paljoa, mutta se hyvin käy minulle, joskus tykkään minäkin hiljaisuudesta. Jää enemmän aikaa ottaa kuvia tai opiskella kotiloita.

Mum and brothers have been away for a few days and it's been just Dad and I. Dad doesn't speak so much, but it works fine for me, sometimes I like silence too. More time is left for me to take pictures or study seashells.

e - a - t

2011-02-19T15:49:00.005-07:00

More skyr, this time grapefruit and also some actual grapefruit. Then nice breakfasts, lots of bread and jam. Going to see this this evening.

Lisää skyriä, tällä kertaa greippiä ja myös oikeaa greippiä sen skyrin kanssa. Sitten kivoja aamupaloja, paljon leipää ja hilloa. Olen menossa katsomaan tätä tänä iltana.

so swede, dude

2011-02-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

Ja, jag är svensk.

e - a - t

2011-02-13T00:00:00.011-07:00

eat. I have had this skyr so much lately, and pomegranate / passion fruit is my favourite kind. And I have to ask, is anyone out there? All I hear is the sound of crickets anymore. New mix for getting into spring.

Kirjoitan nyt suomeksi! En näissä päivissä kirjoita tänne suomeksi noin paljon kuin ehkä pitäisi. Aloitan nyt. Minun täytyy kysyä teiltä kaikilta, että oletteko vielä täällä? Toivon niin, mutta täällä on ollut aika hiljaista. Toivottavasti tämä hiljaisuus ei kestä. Minulla on myös kerrottava! Voisi olla, (voisi on hyvä sana) että minä ja minun äiti mennään Suomeen maaliskuun lopussa. En tiedä tapahtuuko, mutta onhan mahdollisuus.

hei viikonloppu

2011-02-05T00:27:00.007-07:00

Hello weekend! You're very welcome right now.

Suosittelen Kanerva Pasasen musiikkia.

e - a - t, week one

2011-01-11T08:22:00.002-07:00

The first two diptychs for eat. I'm having fun already with this project. As you can probably tell, the past week has been as follows for me: jam, bread, oranges, and tea. Not bad, but maybe I could eat something else.

e - a - t

2011-01-02T21:12:00.008-07:00

Hello, 2011! Everyone has been talking of their new 2011 photo projects, so I thought it might be fun to do one too. The most wonderful Christmas gift I received this year was a new camera, so it seems fitting I use it this way. My new project will be called eat. I will:

* take a photo everyday of one meal I have

* make two diptychs of the photos from the week

* post them here each Sunday

Are you ready?

P.S. I'm also sorry to not have posted here as regularly as I would have liked to over my winter break, I have been very busy doing some translation work. I hope I've made up for it as I have made a mix you can listen to here!

this is why / a year in review

2010-12-28T02:40:00.006-07:00

Some of my favourites of 2010, some of my favourite memories. It is three in the morning and I am not in bed. I am writing this entry, and thinking about everything that has happened this year. I wonder why it was significant; perhaps why in some ways it wasn't.

When looking back, I sometimes couldn't remember some of the things that happened to me this year, what I did, or who I saw. I then remembered I had this place. I looked through the archives, and so much returned to me.

Each picture here retold me a story I once lived. Personally, I think pictures are worth more than a thousand words. And this is why I photograph. I photograph to capture something I think is wonderful, beautiful, creative. More than that, I photograph to capture a memory of something I think is wonderful, beautiful, creative. Photos are memories, and they will always be. I will always photograph. Thoughts and feelings may leave my mind, but a camera will never leave my hand.

happy, merry

2010-12-24T18:58:00.003-07:00

Toivon rauhallista joulua teille kaikille!

I wish a Merry Christmas to you!

lucky comma happy

2010-12-18T23:38:00.008-07:00

I went skiing today and it was gorgeous outside, although quite cold. Look at that sun coming over the mountains. Excited for my upcoming Christmas holiday. Can't wait to relax and take more photos.

Melkein unohdin kirjoittaa suomeksi! Kävin tänään hiihtämässä. Siitä tuli niin ihana fiilis, vaikka ulkona oli tosi kylmää. Oli ihanaa katsoa aurinko, miten paistoi pilvien läpi ja vuorien yli. Kohta tulee minun Joululoma, olen siitä jo kiitollinen. En malta odottaa sitä, kun on aikaa levätä ja ottaa kuvia.

getting through

2010-12-05T16:38:00.005-07:00

It's snowing here constantly. Some days are much colder, but it never goes above negative three celsius. I am eagerly awaiting Christmas. Before Christmas, there's much to do. I have to finish my university applications. I'm applying to the University of Washington and also to our university here, the University of Montana. I know I'll get into the University of Montana, but I'm nervous about the University of Washington. We'll see in the spring.

At any rate with university, I do have news. It's about ninety five percent sure that I'll be going to Finland next year to au pair and take classes at the University of Tampere. It's been my dream to do this for a while, so I'm quite excited. My plan is to differ my acceptance to either the University of Washington or Montana, and then take a gap year as my year in Finland. If I do end up liking being in Finland for a year, I may go to a university there instead to finish studies instead of anywhere here in the US. But for now, this is the plan.

And please tell me, how are you? I've been a bad blogger, not keeping up with anything. Please say hello!

P.S. If you haven't, listen to Arcade Fire's "The Suburbs." Best album I've heard in a long time. This one is my favourite now.

talvi tuli ja jäi tänne

2010-11-25T15:38:00.006-07:00

Winter came and stayed here. Happy thanksgiving to everyone. Be well. xo.

valmis

2010-11-03T20:46:00.006-06:00

Ready. Ready to start again. My wool socks are on, there is some tea in my mug, and I feel oh so much better. And hey, that's very good news. Although there are bad things (like our elections yesterday...) I learn that I move on, that life moves on, and really that is all I need to remember. Are you ready for a post?

Minä olen valmis aloittaa taas uudestaan. Minulla on villasukat päällä, ja on mukissa teetä. Tunnun niin paljon paremmalta. Ja hei, sehän on hyvä. Vaikka on kyllä tässä maailmassa pahoja asoita, (kuin eilisen vaalit... ) opin että minä jatkun ja myös jatkuu elämä, siinä se. Oletteko valmiita uudelle postaukselle?

silence / hiljaisuus

2010-10-20T23:20:00.012-06:00

It's nearly fall again.

Time to draw myself away,

take down plaid flannel sheets

from the linen closet,

wash them in camomile soap

cold, pruning my hands.

In this autumn time I will go

barefoot in the dead grass,

rain and dew on my small toes,

seeping up to my round ankles.

I am waiting for the leaves to change,

to brighten, to descend

to molt into this grass

where I will stand through the seasons

waiting for rebirth.

Silence here and now. This is a pause for an undetermined amount of time. I need it. I've had tears, everything lately. Through all of this, Arcade Fire's "The Suburbs" has been one of the most powerful albums I've heard.

New post on hunt / gather.

oh yes, that

2010-10-10T18:47:00.008-06:00

Feeling burnt out on taking pictures. I feel like I have some obligation to put pictures here. Maybe I'll take a short break from here, maybe not. We'll see. I'm pressing leaves, so if I put a picture here of them, I'll perhaps then remember to check on them later. Today I made baklava with my friends and fully embraced autumn.

Saturday morning in the shower I made up a quote: "The purpose of society is not to answer questions, but to question answers."

Voi, kun taas kerran en jaksa kirjoittaa suomeksi. Vähän tunnun siltä, etten oikeasti halua ottaa kuvia enää. En tiedä miksi. Mutta kivalta tuntuu kun syksy on täällä.

+ + +

2010-10-06T18:13:00.002-06:00

Tarviin vähän valoa. Tämä viikko on ollut pitkä.

oh time, you're just not as cute when you fly

2010-09-27T15:53:00.007-06:00

The first of Seattle. I was a bit uneasy about being in such a big city when I was there but now all I want is to go back. I'm definitely applying to the University of Washington. What a wonderful trip. More pictures to come.

Someone was very wrong when they said you can't buy happiness. Happiness, my friends, is a cupcake for three dollars. A salted caramel chocolate cupcake to be exact.

Oh, and I'm catching up with your blogs and comments I promise! I'm trying to be responsive. I'm not a deadbeat blogger, I swear.

Pidin aika paljon hauskaa Seattlessa. Lisää kuvia tulossa.

synttäripäivä!

2010-09-24T06:00:00.003-06:00

Hei there everyone! Today is my birthday and my mum and I will be on a flight at two o'clock to Seattle to look at the University of Washington. We'll meet a professor of the Finnish language in the Scandinavian Studies Department, tour campus, perhaps go to Ikea, to Tuuli (a.k.a. my favourite store in the United States), and wherever the wind may blow us. I'm hoping to take my film camera there, so we'll see what I come up with.

And I want to say also thank you so much everyone for your comments and just everything! I am so grateful to each of you. I don't think there's anyone happier than me right now. Thank you for being so wonderful.

Tänään minulla on synttärit! Me ollaan tänään matkalla Seattleen katsomaan Washingtonin yliopistoa, jossa voi opiskella suomen kieltä. Mennään ehkä myös Ikeaan, joku Suomi kauppaan, ja oikeasti ihan minne vaan halutaan. Haluan myös sanoa kiitos hurjasti teille kaikille, kun olette niin ihania! Tämä blogi kokemus on ollut niin kiva minulle. Hyvää viikonloppua!

ja niin sanon kaikkea hyvää

2010-09-20T16:43:00.002-06:00

I get stressed too much sometimes, and I need to remember everything good. Things like stripes or my new kånken for example are very good. Having a cup of tea is very good. This video, no matter how many times I see/hear it, is good.

Jos tarvitsen tuntua paremmalta, muistan aina kaikkea hyvää, niin kuin minun uusi kånken, kuppeja teetä, ja tämä biisi.

yes please

2010-09-13T19:42:00.007-06:00

Hyviä päiviä meillä on ollut. Iloinen ja kiitollinen tyttö olen.

We've had good days. A happy and thankful girl I am.

hei syksy

2010-09-04T17:44:00.006-06:00

Okay, here I am! First week of school gone by and things are well. Today I took a nice autumn walk. Can you see my friend in the sixth photo? I really like Astrid's this autumn I plan to list, so I'll take some inspiration from her and do the same:

This autumn I plan to:

+ travel to Seattle

+ turn eighteen
+ apply to Finnish and American universities
+ take more walks
+ listen to Sigur Rós on endless repeat
+ bake this cake
+ paint my room a new colour
+ buy a Fjällräven backpack
+ send more mail
+ finish two rolls of film
+ not completely die of stress!
+ use my grandmother's old floral sheets on cold nights
+ open my windows on cool but not too cold days
+ do simple things well

Do you have plans for this autumn as well?

Tässä olen, vihdoinkin! Koulun ensimmäinen viikko jo takana ja kaikki tuntuu nyt hyvältä. Paljon suunnitelmia on minulla tälle syksylle. Onko teillä kivoja syksy suunnitelmia?

a little late, but finally!

2010-08-26T19:22:00.003-06:00

Oh, I'm so happy to tell you my good news today! In June, I went to Washington D.C. to the Embassy of Finland. I met many embassy personnel. I went to a lovely dinner. I ate pulla and rye bread to my heart's content. It seemed the trip could not get any better.

After visiting the embassy, I gave a presentation with pictures about my own experiences in Finland. I was quite nervous to show everyone, but the presentation went wonderfully. After the presentation, the Media Relations Coordinator for the embassy asked me if I would write a story for their web pages. Of course I said yes.

Just now, my story has been published. It looks lovely and I couldn't be happier with it. Take a look for yourself. If you are interested in Finland, I only have one word for you: go.

P.S. Thanks everyone for your nice comments lately, you all are so lovely! <3

the first

2010-08-22T18:37:00.004-06:00

Yes folks, they've finally arrived. The first tomatoes of the season. I'm quite excited. They are sweet and small in my mouth and I eat them like candy. I can't help it.

For me lately, it's all Ultra Bra, all the time. This one I like a lot.

I will hopefully tell you my good news tomorrow! It will surely be sometime early this week, so stay tuned.

i say hei

2010-08-18T16:43:00.003-06:00

This is what I have been doing, from top to bottom: hanging out with my best friend, celebrating something big I'll tell you soon, spending a weekend in the mountains with my family, eating Pihlaja candy, and then of course, being lazy. It's summer after all.

I'm listening to this and figuring out university options. It's raining outside. Today I saw Eat, Pray, Love. Not nearly as good as the book, but it was to be expected.

before + after + between

2010-08-13T01:33:00.015-06:00

I'll be gone from here for a few days. I thought I'd share something with you before I left. It's quite long, so grab a cup of tea before you read. These pictures are random. Favourite video right now: "PERKELE! AION JUOSTA JÄRVEEN!" (I laugh every single time. It's quite funny. She says, "DAMMIT, I'M GONNA RUN TO THE LAKE!")

Have I ever told you that I have a passion for languages? I feel right now quite happy school will start soon, but also a bit sad to see the summer end. Even though everything has to end, there are still beautiful experiences to remember, and new ones to gain. For one, I'm excited to go back to my Spanish class. Have I ever said here that I love Spanish? I have taken Spanish since about the sixth grade. I remember then that I wasn't very good at Spanish, I remember sitting in my desk letting another girl answer the word for "pencil" or "backpack" instead of me. Then, in seventh grade, everything changed. I started to really love Spanish. My accent changed, and I became less shaky and more aware. All I wanted to do was to go to Spanish class. I got the "Spanish Student of the Year" award in eighth grade. When I continued onto high school, I wondered if everyone there would be better than me in my new Spanish classes, but I continued. I advanced further, until I took fourth year level classes my second year in high school. Language is something that has come natural to me. It feels as if it's something I am meant to do.

This year will be my last in high school, but part of my schedule will be to go to our local university here to take a Spanish class. Again, I'm quite nervous this time to be in a college level setting, perhaps with people more serious about studying Spanish. When I'm nervous, especially in a foreign language, I struggle to speak. A lot of the words don't come so fluidly and I have to think a lot. This is very much true for me with Spanish, because I don't make so much of an effort to use it. Sometimes I wonder why, because so many people tell me I sound native when I speak, whereas with Finnish, I don't think I do. Even so, I'm keeping my fingers crossed everything goes well. I'm also very emotionally tied to language, so even when I say a word wrong and a teacher tells me not to take a correction personally, I still do. I always want everything I say to be perfect, and when I'm told it's not, I sometimes get too hard on myself.

I started when I was around fourteen to study the Finnish language, which is quite a leap from Spanish or English. I was so interested in anything Finnish, so learning the language also felt quite natural to me. While Finnish is beautiful, it's about ten times harder than Spanish for a speaker of English to learn. Still, I have learnt more Finnish because of my devotion to it outside of a classroom or merely studying. I made an effort to use it whenever possible. Even though my Finnish is understandable, I still cannot speak it perfectly. It's a language I absolutely love though, and will surely study in a university setting instead of alone, like I have for the past few years. In a university class, I will also study daily. It's a rare chance anymore that I have time to open a Finnish grammar book. I want to be better. I always want to be better, especially at the things I love.

All during these studies, I've played with Chinese, contemplated Arabic, and vowed never to study a language that involves a second alphabet or character system. And well, since then, it's been a slight fascination I've had with Swedish and French, both of which I still aim to study. Actually, the film Amélie has made me fall in love with French. I like how they've twisted the roots of these familiar Latin words I know from Spanish, and made them entirely their own along with different rules of grammar. I do love grammar. And Swedish I think sounds prettier than French. Have you ever heard a Swedish "i"? It's like magic. The way the tones go, the sound of an "å" to me is lovely. The way the language sounds like a song is the most appealing thing I could think of. Sometimes I think we should be able to choose our mother tongues, choose the language that speaks most to us. I like to think they all have their own souls.

To write here though, I more than often choose only English. It's easier to write a blog in English just because it tends to be the language of choice for about anything, and blogging is no exception. It's rare to find someone who cannot at least understand some written English, and so I feel morally pointed to English just because I don't want to leave anyone out by writing only in Finnish, although I've very much contemplated writing this blog in only Finnish for quite some time.

a few + news

2010-08-11T17:31:00.004-06:00

diptychs. I really want to thank you all very much for your insight with my photo problem! I am so happy I can count on your opinion and it means a lot to me. Perhaps I should ask for constructive criticism again at some point.

Some news as well! There is (finally) an interview on hunt / gather with Anna Emilia Laitinen, go have a look! It was so nice to interview her and I hope you enjoy her words as much as I did.

I will write here more. I like doing it. I also have some news about my writing coming up, and I will share more of that with you soon.

quick! i need your help

2010-08-09T20:52:00.005-06:00

Have you seen this contest from Marimekko? If you haven't, the rules are this: snap a picture of yourself in your own Marimekko style, and send it into Marimekko with a small story. For now, I decided to photograph my little Unikko scarf. It's simple and I wear it a ton. The problem is, I like both of these photos and can't decide which one I like the best. Can you tell me which one you prefer? Please be honest! And say if you think perhaps I should take a new photo altogether. Leave a comment anonymously too if you want!

Tarvitsen teidän apuanne! Aion osallistua Marimekon kilpailuun. Voitteko kertoa minulle kummasta näistä kuvista tykkäätte eniten? Olkaa hyvä ja vastakaa rehellisesti! Kiitos!

this summer ends soon, i feel like i have to stuff every memory in my pocket and hold tight

2010-08-06T01:02:00.007-06:00

really, i could

2010-08-06T00:39:00.006-06:00

... Go on forever. I want to live on a beach. Still want to see more?

Voisin puhua rannasta koko ajan, ja tietenkin laittaa tänne enemmän kuvia. Haluan asua rannalla. Hei niin, tervetuloa elokuu! Enää kuukausi jäljellä lomaa. En halua takaisin kouluun.

(it pours)

2010-07-31T16:08:00.008-06:00

On a summer day, I hear a thunderstorm. I run outside to quickly pick some thyme, mint, and parsley. I'm wearing my favourite button-up shirt. I listen to this. And really, it's the perfect way to end July.

Updated, here and here.
Merja has a new blog and I couldn't be happier for dear Elisabeth and her new cottage!

i think i'll be there

2010-07-29T17:33:00.002-06:00

Where all of the waves come crashing in, and endless sky meets me. Are you ready for Texas picture overload?

it turns out

2010-07-26T10:02:00.003-06:00

That maybe a vacation in Texas with some of your best friends is the best thing that can happen. And going to the beach and swimming all the time isn't half bad either. Pictures on the way.

Kuvia Texasista tulossa! Oli hurjan HIENO reissu!

Things about Texas/summer/holiday that I like:

+ Eating very much Pihlaja candy

+ Swimming on the beach

+ Eating basil from my garden

+ Waking up whenever I please

+ Laughing so hard at my friends' jokes

+ Staying up late

+ Going to IKEA

+ Long hot days and cool summer nights

+ Laughing, eating, and dancing with friends on the boardwalk

+ Celebrating my nameday, and eating cake too!

oltiin metsässä

2010-07-18T12:07:00.002-06:00

Kesä on mennyt minulle tosi hyvin. Olen ollut ulkona, istumassa auringossa. Olen mennyt uimaan paljon järvellä, ja ollut vähän aikaan saunassa. Nämä kuvat otin silloin kun me oltiin metsässä hakemassa marjoja. Minun kesäkurssi meidän yliopistossa täällä loppui perjantaina, ja nyt jää paljon aikaa tehdä mitä tahansa haluan tehdä. Huomenna olen menossa Texasiin, toivottavasti siitä matkasta tulee kivaa. Minulla on tänään korvatulehdus, toivottavasti menee kohta pois. Aurinkoisia päiviä teille!

Summer has gone very well for me. I have been outside, sitting in the sun. I have gone swimming at the lake a bit, and even in the sauna for some time. These pictures are from when we went in the forest to get berries. My summer course in our university here ended on Friday, and now I have much time left to do whatever I feel like. Tomorrow I am going to Texas and hopefully that holiday will be nice. I have an ear infection today, so hopefully it'll go away soon. Sunny days to everyone!

oh these days

2010-07-07T19:18:00.002-06:00

Been a bit busy with my summer course, but it's almost done. I still have some time to take pictures, even in class! This is my favourite song right now. And have you seen what's going on at habit?

kävin hakemaan

2010-06-21T16:37:00.006-06:00

I went to get lilac. It was just that kind of day. I actually updated hunt / gather. Surprising, I know. You will see an interview on there soon, I promise. Now I'm off to yoga.

tuli kesä, tuli valoa

2010-06-13T22:18:00.004-06:00

Summer came, so did the light. I know now what I've been waiting for.

I'm watching the World Cup, picking lilac, and planning a menu for Thursday. Soon I will go to Washington D.C. to go to the Finnish Embassy and teach Finnish to a group of exchange students.

hei, kesä

2010-06-12T17:53:00.006-06:00

Moi, kesä. Olen odottanut sinua, ja nyt olet täällä. Tänään tein tämän videon, siinä videossa minä laulan. Se biisi joka minä laulan on "Juhannus," Scandinavian Music Groupista.

Hi, summer. I have waited for you, and now you are here. Today I made this video, in it I am singing. The song I sing is "Juhannus" by Scandinavian Music Group. Lyrics in English:

Above the city

rockets caught fire

it was, you see, midsummer

I cried again

maybe on the shore there's a burning boat

maybe the memory of a rainy Midsummer Day

And now that it's summer, I officially have time for this blog. I'm thinking of some summer project to do on here, and I'll update about that soon.

just a little something

2010-06-03T20:46:00.002-06:00

Just a diptych for now. Hope you enjoy. Aerie International just came out, and soon I'll show it to you. It's so beautiful and I'm very proud of it.

My friend has just decided to go to Middlebury and I am so excited for her! She showed me this funny video. (If you know about U.S. universities, you'll like it.) I can't stop listening to the song, although I think I would usually use words such as atrocious or horrid to describe that kind of music. This post is for you, K.

One lovely song too, just for good measure.

sometimes the city, it floods

2010-05-23T18:27:00.003-06:00

In April, early May
sometimes all I see
are the drops of water
on my window
that turn into
waves

"laulakaa, laulakaa lujempaa"

2010-05-16T16:58:00.007-06:00

Hei there! It's been a while, since Vappu, the first of May. Here I am. I've been so busy putting our literary arts magazine together, which goes to the printer on Wednesday. For this, I am so happy. It's been a bit stressful at times, but I'm happy with the way it has turned out. When it's done printing, I'll show it to you. Maybe some of you will want to even order one!

Today I began my garden. I've cleared out the tulips and relocated them to a front bed. My spring planting guide is on its way, most likely next weekend! Of course, one must always stop for a few blackberries, or to look at the sky.

vappuna

2010-05-01T21:57:00.005-06:00

On Vappu. R likes the Pentax too. We must think alike. Thinking of South Korea this summer. Excited for this coming May. So much to do and think about.

kipeä

2010-04-19T23:18:00.006-06:00

Sick. I went babysitting for nine hours on Saturday, I hope I didn't give the kids this bug I have. I certainly wouldn't have gone had I known I would be this down. The weather here has been so incredible too! I would give anything to be outside versus in bed.

So then, no new pictures. This picture is from April 19th of last year. (Yes, I do feel like I'm cheating both you as the viewer and me as the photographer for not having a new picture for a new post...)

I wish I weren't such a bad writer though. I always think of such great things to tell you here and then of course when I finally come to tell you these fantastic thoughts of mine, I can't think of a good way to express them. Maybe all I have are complaints and apologies. Like the apology about not being here or on hunt / gather. (Which for the latter, by the way, I need someone to interview! Thoughts?) Maybe it's because I have two languages (sometimes three, sometimes four!) running through my brain at all times. I do need to do something about that.

Maybe it's because I'm stressed. And I can't stop thinking about Finland. I told my parents yesterday I will most likely move there next year. I don't know exactly what they think about that, but I think the expression was something like shock. It's a big deal, I know.

But mostly, maybe it's because I've just got a lot of thoughts. And one can't possibly retain all of those memories or ideas that fly at one's brain at the speed of light. This place is called "Jenna's Mind," so I guess I'd better get used to it.

what i've been up to

2010-04-11T13:34:00.006-06:00

Studying. When I have time though, I like to look at all of the things I see. My soybean plant, or the mint we bought from the market the other day. I put the mint into some tea, and go back to work.

and then april

2010-04-03T20:34:00.005-06:00

Oh my, it's April already. Soon spring will be completely here and I will see all of the flowers and green. I will also be busy planting this year's garden. This year I will have tomatoes, carrots, strawberries, basil, cilantro, and mint. I will do a guide to spring planting here soon too, so be sure to check back. I love eating the things I have planted, my relationship to food is so much more fruitful (pardon the expression) then.

Happy Easter to you if you celebrate, but if you don't, I wish you a lovely sunday with family and food and friends.

Also, Monika made a wonderful video on her flickr with this very beautiful song.

missä olet, kevät?

2010-03-31T14:55:00.003-06:00

Missä sinä olet, kevät? Sinä tulit tänne, ja nyt olet mennyt taas pois. Toivon, että pian voisit tulla takaisin. On minulla ikävä sinua. Ei voi olla ulkona, minä vain istun tässä. Luen, katson, odotan.

Where are you, spring? You visited, and again you have left. I hope you will come back. I miss you. I cannot go outside, I only sit here. I read, I watch, I wait.

but we'll stay

2010-03-29T18:28:00.005-06:00

Rain, rain, rain. It's almost like a dream. So is this song.
Sade, sade, sade. Tuntuu melkein unelta. Niin semmoiselta tämä biisi tuntuukin.

kivaa viikonloppua

2010-03-26T18:16:00.003-06:00

Voi, kun nyt on viikonloppu, ja olen hyvin kiitollinen ja iloinen että se on vihdoinkin tullut. Sinua on odotettu, viikonloppu! Ensi viikolla minulla on semmosta spring breakia, eli siis olen kotona vaan. En malta odottaa sitä, kun saan jäädä kotona ja olla laiska! Luen ja otan kuvia ja juon teetä... vihdoinkin, minulla on aikaa tehdä mitä minä tahdon tehdä.

Oh, now that the weekend has come I am so thankful and happy. I've been waiting for you, weekend! Next week I have spring break, so I will be just at home. I can't wait for it, that I'll get to just stay home and be lazy! I will read and take pictures and drink tea... finally, I will have time to do what I want to do.

i've seen those english dramas too

2010-03-17T19:31:00.003-06:00

Oh wow. I didn't think I'd be here for a while, until I realised I had to tell you about Vampire Weekend. Wow. If you ever get the chance to see them live, I would really say you should. They were so good. I want to see them again. All of these pictures were from the concert day. It was so fun!